A Tale of Two Twins
Merry and Kate,
two of a kind of something fine,
walked into a bar quite late,
both with something big on their minds.
“Congrats, Kate,” Samson, the bartender said,
then, with a deferential look at Merry,
“Sorry to hear the news—
that’ll be a lot of baggage to carry.”
Merry, with a nod, mumbled,
“This pushover needs a hangover.
I’ll take a double of whatever you’ve got.
I’m not feeling so hot.”
Kate, giving her minute sister
(as Merry had been born one minute later),
a big hug and a kiss of air above her hair,
went to dance–
all curves in tight pants.
Kate, feeling celebratory,
cut up the invisible rug like she was on happy drugs,
whilst Merry drowned in emotional purgatory.
“I feel like my life is over,” Merry said,
a couple of towheads came in and saw the twin,
looking the lost part of lost and found,
and slid onto the stools,
resisting the urge to wildly spin around.
Olive and Vinny, friends of the twins—
been married for years, it seemed like—
they even sort of looked alike.
Merry called them the Dollangangers.
They didn’t get it.
“Look up “Flowers in the Attic”,” she’d say,
but they never did.
“What’s wrong, Twinnie?” Olive asked,
ordering a martini,
and Merry, feeling quite contrary, said,
“I’m getting married, I guess.”
“Sorry to hear that, old girl,” Vinny said,
with a shake of his head.
“Wish Joe was a better fella,
but you could’ve done worse—
at least he isn’t a male nurse.”
They looked over at Kate, and Olive asked,
“Well, what’s she got to be so happy about?”
“Oh, she’s finally getting divorced,” Merry said,
then held up her glass and added with a pout,
“Bartender, pour me another—
just enough to knock me out.”