So my husband and I are fans of “Wheel of Fortune.” We even play the Xbox game, and it can get heated (especially if I “buy time” by buzzing in like I know the answer and take the full 70 seconds to figure it out). He says it’s cheating–I say it’s smart.
I chose to gripe about the most benign show in existence–“Wheel of Fortune”–the game show that makes you feel brilliant after watching “Jeopardy”. (Btw, a “fickle wheel” is how AT&T describes the show in their synopsis.)
The Fickle Wheel
Buying unnecessary vowels,
calling letters that have already been called–
it’s not using your noodle, is all.
Listening to the host without the most,
who holds the female contestants’ hands to the Bonus Round,
makes me want to wash my hands and whiskey-wash it down.
Contestants who jump up and down after every triumph,
who use flowery adjectives to describe their significant others,
who rattle off all their kids’ silly, pretentious names,
are just a few of the many gripes I have about America’s game.