The Pupils of Miss Iris

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Miss Iris Cornea
(pronounced Cor-nay-uh,
being French),
went to school Monday through Funday,
always hoping to learn something new.

However, her pupils,
numbering 30 and 2
(that’s Common Core math),
were the only ones
who tended to dilate
at her diatribes
on the purposes of seeing
eye-to-eye with the visionaries—
except for Blue,
who had double vision,
and Green,
who was blind to it all.

The pupils all tended to get blacker
as the day wore on,
except for C.J.,
who always had pinkeye—
the one student she had a blind spot for.

Many crossed their eyes
instead of their t’s,
and none of them minded
their p’s and q’s.

Some were just lazy eyes,
and Gard, who saw everything
in black-and-white,
talked about painting the roses red.
When it was picture time,
she had to deal with Hazel’s photophobia
and Amber’s losing her contacts.
Then there was Jan,
who had heterochromia
and was always going through an identity crisis,
rudely referring to the others as homochromes.

Her teaching assistant had to fight the floaters
with a broom and dust mop
and had the optic nerve to ask for a raise.

The pupils of St. Lucy just didn’t have a vision
but a rather myopic view of life;
it was why Miss Iris Cornea
drowned her selves in a glass of water
every night.

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