Why she wouldn’t date a man whose culture-shocked hers
Her unrequited love for a happily married man

When she lost her husband’s faith
Her feelings about the President on Facebook

The obsessive love she had for the daughter who was whole—her second chance at parenthood
The wishing to love as much the son who was broken, who loved sameness and repetition

The anger she had for her career mom, for saying being her mother wasn’t enough
The ire she felt towards her stay-at-home dad, for being less than he was

The resentment she had for her disabled brother
who stole her mother’s scant time home

The jealousy she felt when it was brother Byron who brought Mom home,
just because he needed her—when her wanting her mother mattered not

Her understanding of the beloved aunt who left the family
The disloyalty she felt for the uncle who drove her away

Her rage at the grandmother who taught her mother that children only grow up to leave you
Her envy of the friend whose star rose, even as hers dimmed

The particulars of the memoir that lay in wait for her parents’ death . . . 

She wanted the world to see her as a good person,
and so she kept her private thoughts just that—
knowing what to reveal,
and what to conceal.