Mother was trying to knit again, & every time I saw the needles out, I prayed that her project was not in preparation for any life inside her.
Mother had never spanked us, for she had spared her hand & spoiled her children.
I’d never thought much about having children before, though I knew Elder Roberts probably wanted them, & so I would want them, too.
“They said the only reason a man hung around a lady & her 2 young daughters,” she said, unable to say more, for it would be like crucifying David.
The Mormons helped me step outside myself, & see us as the world saw us.
Once David become Mother’s fiancé, he began to act like more of a stepdad to Caitlin, yet our relationship retained its friendship status.
David was considered our stepfather in Green Haven, despite not being married to Mother, for if one lived a lie long enough, it became true.
I was glad women were no longer stoned for sins committed with men, for Mother would’ve been battered into oblivion.
They didn’t go around saying “Jesus loves you,” nor did they wear crosses, or shake & shimmy to show manifestation of the Divine.
If only we could know the last time we’d ever see someone, we would push our relationships till the end.