What I meant to say
when I said I don’t like talking on the telephone
was that I don’t like getting stuck in a conversation
even Houdini couldn’t escape from.

What I meant to say
when I said I liked the color of your dress
is that I hate the rest of it.

What I meant to say
when I read your work and praised your grammar
is that your story sucked.

What I meant to say
when I said I’m allergic to something in your food
is that your cooking makes me sick.

What I meant to say
when I said I have a headache
is that I don’t feel like brushing my teeth right now
(because I might want something sweet later–
something that adds calories,
not burns them.)

This is the art of communications.