A five-dollar charity purchase from ECUA,
this androgynous little duck found rough love with Hannah Banana Boo,
whose favorite thing was not only Quackers himself,
but whose favorite thing to do was to “Smack Quackers.”
In addition to having Mama or Daddy put him on the fan blade
while she flipped the switch,
making him fly and crash,
she set him on her lamp,
barbecuing his bum—
which turned him into a real hardass
(at least on one cheek).
Crashing & burning became his life,
and Hannah chewed on him so much with her razor-blade chompers
that he eventually lost his marbles
(or rather, the beads that gave him bulk).