He brought her fresh milk every morning,
& she gave him fresh eggs,
which put a bun in her oven.
When the big cheese came home
& saw a skim,
curly-headed ginger snap
he waited for Mr. Grade A
(who’d lived up to his name
among the baker’s dozen
whose husbands were away)
& turned him into a hunk of Swiss.
When the Big Cheese was away,
the mice loved to chatter.
When the Big Cheese came back,
she found that their story
about being spread too thin
from the daily rind
was full of holes.
She was always told that too many chefs spoiled the soup,
but Amelia Debilia didn’t listen to her mama.
She found 3 TV chefs—
the annoying English Basil with the Gumby pompadour,
the Asian Ginger,
& a sprig of a woman named Rosemary—
all who tried to make the world believe
that the only way to eat meat was mid-rare.
She chopped them up fine &
sprinkled them into her cast-iron pot,
creating what she deemed fusion cuisine.
When her unknowing mama tasted what she had done,
she’d shaken her head & said,
“You have to remember to take their clothes off first.”