Poem-a-Day April 2019 Writer’s Digest Challenge #27. Theme: Direction #aprpad

Saying No to the One-Man Creepshow

He was Stan–
Stan the Man,
he said.
She was Jan–
Jan with the big cans,
she said,
which was why
she did not need
Stan the Man
with his ooey, too-dewy
wandering hands.

When he asked to take her to bed,
she said,
“Never to bed,
even if we wed.”

“In a car?” he asked.

“Never in a car–
no matter how fast or how far.”

“In an elevator?”

“Never in an elevator–
no matter how high or how low,
you will never be the way I go.”

“In the grass,
under a tree,
or on the roof,
facing the sea?”

“Never in the grass
or out of the grass,
under a tree
or over a tree,
on a roof
or off a roof–
not even off my rocker–
whether facing,
or defacing,
the sea.
You are gross,
you are gross,
don’t you smell,
don’t you see?”

“Try me,
try me,
you might like me,
you shall see.
Just one kiss,
and you will be in bliss.”

She shook her head and said,
“This ain’t green eggs and ham.
If I take you in,
I can’t just spit you out,
and swallowing,
with my being Catholic,
is not allowed.”

And so Stan the Man
became Stan the Mailman,
delivering only those
oh-so discreet packages
that women really wanted
(batteries not included).

2019 April PAD Challenge: Day 27

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