We were in our own little world—a world in which Mother did not fit. Even as she & David belonged together, so did David & I, in our own way, in a way the 3 of us together never could.
Empowerment was allowing myself to believe in something I could not see, & yet, to believe in something greater than ourselves was to be under their rule.
I was not called, but given a calling. I was to work for the Church for free, & pay them on top of that for the opportunity to do so.
Mormons assigned callings, & I realized how many tentacles they had—through 3-hour church services, Enrichment meetings, Visiting Teaching, Institute, & now, a job in the Church.
I knew then that he didn’t believe the Church was true—he loved a lie because it was a beautiful lie—a lie that gave him power over those who were true believers.
I bore false witness that the Church was true, & prayed for God to have mercy on my soul if I was right.
There was something creepy about a grown man asking me if I’d been obeying the law of chastity, for what happened between a man & a woman in the bedroom was between them, & no one else but the God who had made them.
God had called me to serve in the nursery, something I knew nothing about. Just as He’d called Noah to build the Ark. Yet how easy it was to say that “God said.”
I didn’t question. I knew better than that, for as it was said, so it was believed: When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done.