You, the Kentucky cousin of Crown Royal
that courses through me like a racehorse
(while making time with Stevia Coca-Cola),
turns this classy lass into a good time gal.
Whiskey helped facilitate my firstborn;
now you work your spirit magic,
turning this desperate housewife
into a happy homemaker . . .
..who tumbles over rocks
….to be my lucky amber penny.
..who blends well in mixed company
….and takes the jagged edge off.
..who smooths the wrinkles
….in my occasionally-overstuffed shirt.
..this working-class girl’s whiskey
….and friend to the unemployed.
..who makes me laugh at random things
….and gets me rambling about random things.
..whose strength I can control and
….whose weakness cannot control me.
..You are my lift before a public speech,
….my muscle relaxer before a medical procedure. (Yes, THAT one.)
give me my Ryan,
even a Madeleine,
or better yet,
pull a Solomon
and separate the egg
(you know the recipe),
and just tell my husband
to “Make it a double.”