When Dolly Pardon-Me
was wrapped in bubbles,
she knew every paint coat color
& that last year’s fruitcake
& socks under the tree
made for a true, hard candy Christmas,
but when her bed of packing peanuts
was traded for a stand in a glass case—
where she would be leered at
by the creeper Uncle Reaper—
she became forgetful
& realized that
she just couldn’t
think out of the box.
When she passed the pregnancy test,
& he failed the paternity,
she knew she had a lot of ‘splainin to do,
only to wrongfully hypothesize that doing it
on The Maura Kovitch Show
was the way to go.
When Hamburger met Filet Mignon,
he was enticed by her bacon-wrapped sides,
even as she was repulsed by his being stuffed
between 2 pillows.
Though he was French fries & re-formed,
she, fondant potatoes & perfectly formed,
they realized they came from the same stupid cow
& that just as he appreciated her for her rarity,
she, after one bite of his all-American goodness,
turned him from medium-well to well done.