The Writer’s Life

The Shutterfly Edition

I am not an action verb;
I am not in a state of doing
but of being.
I am a noun that is a who, not a that;
I am a noun-person.
I am a series of adjectives in the Royal Order
that are stuck together but subject to change.
I am a preposition where I’ve been under things
& over things
& through things.
I am more than a pronoun
(but if she quacks like a mama duck…).
I am a conjunction,
connecting the whole & the broken.
I am a couple of articles:
“a” when feeling humble
& “the” when not.
I may even be an interjection
(though I’d rather never know),
but I will never be a darling little adverb.

The Properly Improper Noun

l.c. was an improper noun,
always seeking to capitalize
on any opportunity
to uppercase herself from the lower cases.
She thought she could masquerade
as the password to numerous accounts,
but was in for a nasty realization
when she learned that many passwords
were case sensitive,
requiring measurements she didn’t have,
which she found insensitive.

The Dismembered Parts of Speech

She was a noun when she felt human,
when her body felt like a temple,
& when she felt like just a thingy in general;
a verb when she felt like either a human being
or a human doing;
an adjective when her husband described her on Wheel of Fortune
in the royal order (the little showoff);
an adverb when someone described her doings
absolutely wrongly and/or positively badly;
a preposition when she was only seen in relation to
something, someplace, or someone else shinier;
an article when she felt objectified rather than personified;
& a pronoun whenever someone called her “buddy.”

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