He had gone from a sinner of former days
to a saint of latter days,
from numerous hookups without rules,
to one marriage with rules.
When he was criticized for trying to be something he wasn’t,
he realized he was something now that he wasn’t then,
and saw, when he looked back at that man in the mirror,
that the table of contents that had once composed the history of his character
had told a story that he was not doomed to repeat.
On their 10th anniversary,
she came across a photograph of their 1st,
&, in seeing what she once was,
she made it her self-help mission
to turn the clock back 10 years:
doing the things she once did
but no longer with those she once did them with,
eating at the same restaurants,
dying her hair the same color,
wearing the same perfume,
& visiting her old haunts on the other side of town
that had changed as much as she had—
all to recapture what seemed like several lifetimes ago,
when she hadn’t a care in the world
& was responsible for no one but herself.
But to get back how she once looked & felt,
she would have to lose 60 pounds of all she had gained
to regain the years she felt she had lost.
She had spent her twenties
& her forties,
so that in the last half of her life,
she finally knew herself.