The Curmudgeon’s Predictions for the Year 2050
Random acts of kindness
to keep up with the senseless acts of violence.
Evil is now called Mental Illness.
#AmericaStrong is now #WorldStrong.
There are more channels
than decent programs to watch.
The Bachelor is in its 100th season–
the ratio of marriages to proposals
have actually slipped.
Chris Harrison still looks the same,
and we all get to see what really goes down
in the fantasy suite.
Someone brought back “The Facts of Life”;
Mindy Cohn lives!
Ticker tape is the only real news.
People read less and move even less.
A GoFundMe account is a viable way of making a living.
Everybody’s watching people cook on TV,
but nobody knows how to cook.
DNA kits that will set you back the price of a fast food meal
can be found in the family planning/prevention section;
they are also complementary with dating site subscriptions,
so those that still care can check their date’s XX or XY status.
Parents unfriend their children over politics,
even the ones that still live with them.
Their real friends are those they will never meet
who are 600 miles away and think like they do
Executions are televised,
for why is porn worse than violence?
Nobody notices the clouds
that look like God disappearing.
Children have disappeared from the parks–
it’s so much easier to keep them safe inside,
getting fatter in front of the television.
Better fat than dead.
If you want real food,
it’s going to cost you.
That is the real reason why healthy eaters are skinny.
You’re lucky if you live long enough to get cancer.
Gardens, cashiers, and cursive writing
are considered quaint little throwbacks to a time
that’s becoming vague in the minds of those
who lived it.
All I know about New York
I learned through “Law & Order,”
through the stories of those who left
(knew none who stayed),
& The Weather Channel,
confirming so much I already knew
but didn’t care to know firsthand.
2019 April PAD Challenge: Day 14
Her view of herself was such
that she felt most comfortable
when she stood behind
His view of himself was such
that he felt most comfortable
when everyone stood in front
to hear him speak those words.
She felt like a silent ventriloquist,
a Wizard of Oz who made
the dummy come alive,
even as he felt like he was
the ideal receptacle
for such pep rally rah-rahing
that made them believe that if he won,
they all won.
The 21-Year-Old Boy
He had mastered the art of doing nothing,
but when he met the girl who tried to do everything,
he realized the only way to get her to do that something
which would mean nothing to him
but everything to her
was to do anything for her.
Six Swipes & a Smack
From Downtown Brown to Undead Red,
lipstick brightened her smile,
made her lips look like Marilyn’s (you know the one),
& its calling card always let her know which glass was hers.
Lip gloss was simply the ganache
on the entrance to her cakehole.
2019 April PAD Challenge: Day 11
Washed up on the beach,
choking in seaweed,
in the rubble of a crumbled building,
by the side of the road,
still new, nestled in the weeds–
like part of a breadcrumb trail–
are the clues that the dead children,
the stolen children,
even the forgotten children
if only to say that they left an imprint,
even if it was nothing more
than a carbon footprint.
The Drive-By Media Whore
Constance Porter had coined Tunnelgate,
plus half a dozen others.
Con had never met a strawman she didn’t love
or a gotcha question left unasked,
for the exploitation of even the most useless information
feathered this goose’s nest egg
by getting people to care too much about things
that didn’t amount to a molehill of beans,
distracting them from the real, less interesting news.