#Fiction Friday: #Micropoetry from the Book

mormoni

For she’d become the Grim Reaper,
the Angel of Death.
She was the devil in disguise,
beguiling in her beauty,
the ashes of which had tainted
everything.

For David would do my father’s work in the temple,
becoming Patrick’s savior by proxy.
My godlike David would giveth Patrick the key to heaven,
even as he taketh the key to my mother’s heart.

David was my guardian angel,
a mortal who had appointed himself
to watch over me,
to exemplify the love Christ had for His children,
to shield from me the lack of maternal love.

The Mormon temple was tainted now,
for blood poured from its doors—
the lifeblood from the man who had sired me.
It seeped into every piece of fabric,
splattered on every wall
like a crime scene
that could never be washed away.

David had sinned in the name of my mother,
& so I turned Mother into a Christ of convenience,
placing his sins on her,
so that he stood blameless before me.

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#Fiction Friday: #Micropoetry from the Book

mormoni

While Caitlin had gone to my father’s grave
to pay respects to a dead man,
Mother & I had gone to Church
to pay respects to the dead
Son of God.

Even as David had kept secrets from my mother,
he had kept secrets from me,
yet there wasn’t one secret either of us kept from him.

Machines had kept my father’s body alive,
his soul hovering in Purgatory,
while Mother & David had enjoyed heaven
through adultery.

Mother was as Goddess,
for she had taken us to an empty grave,
only to resurrect my father from the dead
with a few words.

Had David allowed my father to die,
he could’ve loved my mother without sin.
For her,
he had risked his eternal life,
even, in her own way,
she had considered herself
above God’s law.

#Fiction Friday: #Micropoetry from the Book

mormoni

For I was told that I had loved the man who had given me life,
even as I loathed the woman who had helped him do it.
Catholicism had saved me in my unborn state,
& for that, I would be indebted to it forever.

My earliest memories
had been recorded on a machine
that was still rapidly developing,
so that they were subject
to tampering,
to being recorded over—
like a double exposure.

I trusted David with my heart & life & body
as surely as I trusted God,
whoever He was,
with my soul.

When I’d thought my father dead,
I’d hated him;
when I found him alive,
I loved him,
if for no other reason
than that I had been told I had,
indeed,
once loved him.

I’d visited an empty grave,
when I could’ve been visiting a living person.
Rather than stroll through the valley of the shadow
of another’s death,
I could’ve been living in the light
that was my life.

#Fiction Friday: #Novelines from the Book

mormoni

He said there were no more secrets between us, & I believed him, as I always had, already knowing if there were, I’d believe him yet again.

Now I understood why David had stayed away all those Sundays—he hadn’t wanted to participate in the farce of visiting Patrick’s grave.

I was grieving for my mother—the mother who was a stranger to me now—not for the father who had been dead to me all these years.

My mother had told my father that Caitlin wasn’t his, & so he’d tried to kill himself, even though he still had me, for it wasn’t the loss of a baby’s paternity but the loss of Mother’s love.

We sat there, at an impasse, & in that moment of silence, we were acknowledging this was now the way it would always be between us.

“She had told me when I was carrying you that my firstborn daughter would steal away my first love & become my enemy,” Mother said.

I wondered if Madame Novacek’s eyes had looked into Mother’s, &, rather than see in her crystal ball, saw in them, what this woman, my mother, would become.

#Fiction Friday: #Novelines from the Book

mormoni

I grieved for the father who had never been lost to me at all—the father I was just now finding, only to lose him all over again.

…for my father believed once death claimed us, we became as angels in Heaven.  The terrestrial kingdom will be everything he always believed Heaven would be.

Mother prayed Caitlin wouldn’t leave this earth till she accepted the gospel & I knew if God answered her prayer, our Little Miss would live forever.

I asked my father in his vegetative state, so close to the Divine, to accept the gospel in the next life, so that he & my mother would inherit the celestial kingdom, even as David & I would the terrestrial.

The sound of Mother’s heels on the hospital tile sounded like the drumbeats my heart was making as I made a deal with a dead man.

The words to “I Know that My Redeemer Lives” came to me; even as they played through my mind, it was David’s face I saw, brighter than sunlight. 

Mother leaned over to kiss my father’s forehead—a holy kiss, a kiss of death—bestowing upon him her blessing to proceed into the next life.

Through the glass clearly, lined like graph paper, David & I watched my father as he slipped into eternal slumber; it was like watching a live execution.

I felt there was more to the story.  Always, I would feel this way. 

I grieved for the father who had never been lost to me at all—the father I was just now finding, only to lose him all over again.

…for my father believed once death claimed us, we became as angels in Heaven.  The terrestrial kingdom will be everything he always believed Heaven would be.

Mother prayed Caitlin wouldn’t leave this earth till she accepted the gospel & I knew if God answered her prayer, our Little Miss would live forever.

I asked my father in his vegetative state, so close to the Divine, to accept the gospel in the next life, so that he & my mother would inherit the celestial kingdom, even as David & I would the terrestrial.

I ran from what had become my life, to the man that was my whole life.

#Fiction Friday: #Micropoetry from the Book

mormoni

I was to be sealed to Mother & David,
only to be sealed to another man someday.
We were linked not individually by God,
but as units,
linked to one another by His authority.

I hadn’t been touched by an angel,
but by earthly messengers,
if not their message.
Yet, was it not that message
that had shaped them
into the angels they were?

Every night,
Mother prayed that God would keep Caitlin
Alive long enough to accept the gospel,
& my heart was joyful,
for she would live forever,
as Mother’s mustard seed faith
filled an entire jar.

My life could be seen in terms of insurance:
Mother was term life,
having expired long ago,
but David—
I would pay for him my entire life.

We stood on the outside,
looking in,
sharing a life
while witnessing a death.
Our reflections looked like
lost souls,
found in one another.

#Fiction Friday: #Novelines from the Book

mormoni

I grieved for the father who had never been lost to me at all—the father I was just now finding, only to lose him all over again.

My mother had not charmed a snake, but rather, she’d beguiled an Eve in male form—a man who’d taken a bite of the apple that hadn’t given him knowledge, but rather, diminished it.

For the first time in my life, I prayed for my father to wake up & save Mother from David, so he would be saved for me.

A Church talk had freed my mother from the guilt she carried over my father’s attempted suicide, even as it would free my father from the medical technology that had kept him in limbo.

For neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, could separate David from Mother, save Mother herself.

Into my father’s ear, I whispered for him to accept the gospel in the next life, so that David would be dethroned as Mother’s eternal companion.

As my father was taken off life support, I wondered if his soul was finally leaving his body, having been imprisoned in 13 years of solitude.

I would learn that my mother had visited my father in the hospital until David had rescued her from a life of single motherhood & lonely widowhood.