Micropoetry Mondays: The Lighter Side

When Sticky Fingers Sal & Pickpocket Pearl
were strolling out of Curl Up & Dye,
Sal, distracted by a Grammar Nazi on strike,
slipped & fell into a plot hole.
Pearl, always quick with her hands,
reached into the man’s pocket
& stole the ultimate weapon—
his dangling modifier.
She held it down for Sal who,
even after her rescue,
just wouldn’t let go of it.

He was a tautogram,
she, an anagram.
They were socially-awkward individuals,
for he got his tongue all twisted,
just as she was all mixed up.

He was White Wine,
chilled to perfection;
she was Red Wine,
perfect as she was.
Then along came
Pink Champagne,
all fancy & bubbly in her flute
& saying to Red & White
that they were mere
lunch & dinner accompaniments,
whereas she was the star
of holidays & weddings.
But then she met Beer,
who was enjoyed out of the tap,
the bottle,
& the can,
& she realized that his fans
would enjoy him
from any vessel.

For the Love of Spirits

Bushwhackers rang in her 21st birthday,
cactuswhackers, her 30th.
Just as coffee got her through the days,
wine got her through her nights.
Beer got her through her husband’s
never-ending football games,
just as whiskey got her relaxed enough
to reciprocate in bed
when her work followed her home
and seemed to bleed into the sheets.
Bourbon got her through the holidays,
and rum was the magic ingredient
for her “Rave Reviews Cake.”
Her best friend came in many forms—
in different packages,
and concentrations—
and was always there for her
but for a price.
She knew that sometimes you had to say no,
even to your best friend,
because there was a time for everything—
a time to be sober,
and a time to be relaxed,
but never a time to be drunk,
for nothing good ever came of it.