So many years, I’ve avoided college because I didn’t think I was smart enough.  I took an assessment test today at the facility and the recruiter told me I had to score at least a 13.  I scored a 31, and she told me a score over 30 was almost unheard of.  I needed that boost of confidence.  Math (the kind that mixes letters and numbers) has always been the bane of my educational existence.  That’s why I didn’t stick with college, because I knew to get my degree, I would have to pass it, and I was so convinced I wouldn’t be able to.  I know it won’t be easy, but I also know if I try hard (and focus) enough, I can at least pass it.  If only I had known at twenty-two what I know at thirty-two…

I was one of those lazy people who only wanted to do what came easy, assuming that all those who got Master’s degrees didn’t have to work as hard as I did to get an A.  I look at this new chapter of my life as a challenge–a challenge to work my brain in a different way, perhaps even help me hone my creativity even more.  I am a big believer in simplifying our lives in any ways we can (for example, I have a housecleaning schedule I stick to, which helps, because I am forgetful, and I don’t have any more bath towels or dinner plates than I need), but that doesn’t mean we need to be simple-minded.  We should all be lifelong learners.

The biggest catalyst/inspiration in making this decision was my daughter.  Of course, I am doing this for myself, too (she was just the final push), but I want to be an example to her that you’re never too old and it’s never too late to learn a new skill, to better ourselves, to work towards financial peace.  For so long, I’ve worked low-wage restaurant and retail jobs, where most bosses, especially if you do a good job, would prefer to hold you back so they can keep you where they want you.  In getting an education, proving my worth, I will be bypassing all that.  I like to shop and eat, but I don’t want to work in those kinds of settings.  Those jobs are fine, as long as they’re temporary, and you’re working towards something.  I think one can actually have more enthusiasm for a job like that if they know it’s only temporary, that better things are coming.

Having this program of study under my belt will also give me the confidence I need to look for that job, be proud of my resume, not be nervous at an interview, etc.

I can finally see what is at the light of the end of the tunnel, a path which has shortened considerably, now that I know what I want to do.