Only Weirdos Eat Ketchup on a Hot Dog & Other Hot-Doggy Things

Nearly everyone calls them hot dogs,
whereas pretentious adults call them frankfurters
& big sillies call them wieners,
but whatever you choose to call them
(or cover them up with),
they are still a “food-like substance”
that vegans try to replicate with their grody soy.
As for me,
the only hot dog I’ll take is the exclamation kind
because the noun is just too hard to swallow.

When This Little Twiggy Went to Meat Market (Notice: All Sales Final)

Twiggy Piggy, a foxymoronic sow,
went to look for a smokin’ hot mammalian beefcake
with whom she could cook up something tasty
(like a litter of mini meatloaves).
She turned down Monsieur Filet Mignon
after he made the piggist comment
that his preference was Kosher.
When Ground Biff said he needed a little pink slime
to beef him up,
she sunk her teeth into Sir Porterhouse–
liking the largeness & tenderness of him.
But she realized her haste
when he cornered her in her sty
& said
that after he was well-done,
all that would be left would be her squeal.