Fiction Friday: Novelines from the Book

Mother was a Mormon in faith & works, whereas I was not. Yet long after I left it, my works (or lack of sin) would become acceptable to it.

Marriage was akin to a conversion, & then there was a process to keep it. There was no once married, always married—it was never my salvation.

I had always imagined Adam & Eve & all the others to be mere symbols, or representations of the best & the worst traits that human beings possessed.

Mormons loved stories even as Jesus loved parables. There were conversion stories, faith-promoting stories, & stories of Joseph Smith’s birth, life, ministry, murder, & his role in the life to come. He was a god, even as God was God.

The Mormons had their mottos: “Modesty is the best policy” (which was always directed at the ladies) & “I didn’t promise it would be easy; I only promised it would be worth it” (or so they said Jesus said).

How Mormons were supposed to live was outlined to the smallest detail—to keep everything as uniform as the concourses of the angels in Heaven.

Tony, Mart, & Mick thought of themselves as “The Three Wise Mor-men,” but Kath, Leann, & I saw them as The Three Stooges—an unholy trinity.

As Mother played the piano, I looked out of the corner of my eye at Brad’s profile, and saw the story of my life—watching men watching her.

Fiction Friday: Novelines from the Book

Leann was the girl who broke all the rules, writing half a dozen elders in the field. “I’m Snow White, & they’re my 7 perps,” she liked to say.

Kath, Leann, & I were like Neapolitan ice cream—Kath was chocolate, for obvious reasons, Leann was strawberry, for being short, & I was simply vanilla.

Donna Marley was known as “Twenty-Seven and Unmarried,” and often liked to brag that she was the most liberal Mormon with a temple recommend.

Donna considered herself a Mormon feminist, eschewing make-up & pretty clothes. Because Leann loved those things, she was called a fembot.

I’d never been a fan of fairy tales, which had always revolved around royalty. Heidi had been an ordinary girl who loved her simple town—a girl like me.

I was Heidi, Caitlin, Pippi Longstocking. As I looked around me—at all the girls my age in adult costumes—I wondered if we’d grown up at all.

Caitlin hadn’t been spiritually converted into the ward, but she had been converted socially, with flying pink colors.

Kath, Leann, & I hid under the refreshment table to hide from The 3 Stooges (a.k.a. Tony, Mart, & Mick) to listen to polite “locker room” talk.

Before going on their missions, Tony, Mart, & Mick had made calendars of themselves—advertising—like the young women did with their cookies.